1. James is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
2.When James wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
3.The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. James 3. Cancer
4.James owns a chain of fast-food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but barbecue-flavored ice cream and Hot Pockets.
5.James can divide by zero.
6.James doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
7.Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a James glare will liquefy your kidneys.
8.If you spell James wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean J